It's Winky!
Consider it a Digital Hall of Shame for Gospel album covers that are unintentionally funny and/or downright bizarre.
Friday, March 31, 2017
Slade Pierce and the Holy Milk Men
The Holy Milk Men with their hit single "Quarts of Love." You can't make this stuff up.
UPDATE:
Oops. Looks like we've been catfished. Apparently, you can make this stuff up. The group was actually Coy Cook and the Senators:
...featuring Dave Rowland (of Jerry & the Singing Goffs and Dave & Sugar, and pianist Nick Bruno, who later produced an album for a CCM group that I was in...but that's another story for another time...
Thursday, March 30, 2017
The Parker Family
Just a real nice American family...that takes their guitars everywhere they go. Wait...doesn't every family do that? No?
Mighty Clouds of Joy
A groovy customized van with wood-grain paneling? Far out!
Oh, by the way...there's a lawyer on the phone. He represents some Black Gospel group. Said he wants to talk to you about your name...
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
Brother McQueen and the Queens
Wow. Where to start with this one?
1. The girl on the left seems to be saying, "Help us. Somebody. Anybody. Please help us."
2. "Brother McQueen and the Queens?" Show of hands -- who thinks this was a good idea for the group?
3. "We have a van!"
4. "God's not dead at my house." Show of hands -- who thought this was a good idea for an album title?
5. "GOD'S not dead at my house. I'm not discussing whether anyone else may or may not be dead at my house or on my property. But God's definitely not dead at my house..."
Hisel Carpenter
Apparently, Brother Hisel's "special talent" was an ability to tie the biggest tie knot in recorded history.
Tuesday, March 28, 2017
God's Brady Bunch
And then one day when this woman met this preacher
And they knew it was much more than a hunch
That this family would somehow form a singing group
That's the way they all became God's Brady Bunch
The Joyful Sounds
"Guide Me, Lord"...Guide me as I try to simply walk across the room without losing my balance and tipping over...
Monday, March 27, 2017
Sunday, March 26, 2017
Kenny Rodgers
Kenny's art director knew just enough about Photoshop to be dangerous.
(No relation to Kenny Rogers)
Joey Schmidt
Last known photograph of Joey. The accordion and one shoe were found about 500 feet from the tracks. Say it with me: he died doing what he loved.
Friday, March 24, 2017
Thursday, March 23, 2017
Larry Carlton
1. Don't run with a pencil in your hand.
2. Don't swim within an hour of eating.
3. Don't play your electric guitar in a thunderstorm.
I know this isn't a Gospel album...but Carlton used to be married to Michele Pillar, so it's close enough...
Wednesday, March 22, 2017
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
The Farr Family
It was at this point that Little Timmy began to rethink the harp as his instrument of choice.
Featuring their hit single, "Bless the Beasts and the Children."
[Thanks: David Hollandsworth]
Monday, March 20, 2017
The Happy Three with Danny & Donald
The Happy Three don't look very happy. Neither do Danny and Donald.
By the way, Donald's bell bottoms may cause him to take flight at any moment.
The Happy Three don't appear to be anywhere near as happy as the Happy Goodman Family or the Happy Hunters.
[Thanks: Chris Cash]
The LeFevres
...and this is how records were made in the olden days, kids. Everybody just set up in one big room and just went for it. Even the fiddler.
Looks like Rex Nelon's givin' Mylon the ole stink eye. Not sure what that's about...
Doug Chambers
Because nothing says "going home" like posing with a dead tree limb.
You have to wonder how some of these photos came about...
Doug: "Well, I thought it would be kind of cool if I pose with my guitar beside a dirt road."
Photographer: "With your leg on a dead tree limb?"
Doug: "Exactly."
Photographer: "Excellent."
The Guffey Sisters
Remember Carolyn Beechboard, southern gospel feminist? She said, "I'm baring my knees and I don't care what nobody thinks." She was a sassy gal.
Poor Mable Louise...she and her bass guitar must've been non-photogenic.
[Thanks: Steven Dettinger]
Bobby Grove
Bobby Grove, pioneer: first "Singing Preacher" to ever travel in a tractor trailer...with no tractor.
Gospel Pathways
No. That is not the Pathway to Heaven. Not even close. That is a concrete sidewalk.
The Gospel Pathways were hoping to capitalize on the success of Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven." Unfortunately, "Pathway to Heaven" was available only at their record table and sold just under 400 copies.
Andrew "Sparky" Sparks
There have always been superstars in pop music who were so famous they were identified by only one name: Elvis, Madonna, Liberace, Cher, Beyonce. In Christian music, we had Sparky.
Front cover photography by Olan Mills.
Fred Church and The Spirituals
"LOOK AT OUR BUS! LOOK AT IT!"
Another shot of that beautiful bus on the back cover...and speaking of covers, they covered a song by - wait for it - MYLON LeFEVRE (who knew a thing or two about buses)...
The Singing Frauenknecht Family
Mickey Frauenknecht. We may not be able to pronounce his name, but we owe him a debt of gratitude. Mickey is the Rosa Parks of Gospel music. He refused to stand up, wearing an oppressive necktie. You see, Mickey didn't want to be like everybody else. He insisted on kneeling in a leisure suit with an open collar. In so doing, he knelt for all of us that day. He even insisted on posing with an electric guitar on the back cover. Mickey Frauenknecht, we remember your boldness. We salute your foresight. We honor your courage.
The Ford Family
"Look! We have an RV!"
Subtitle should've been "Jesus, Take the Wheel!"
By the way, the photographer should've noticed that stop sign on a crooked post near the back of the RV. Then again, the photographer was probably their Uncle Joe...
Subliminal message from this cover was, "Please buy this album so we can afford to buy more gas."
[Thanks to Bob Tackett]
Christy
For some reason, a disproportionate number of teen boys ended up getting saved at Christy's concerts...
The Chapell Heirs
The Chapell Heirs' graphic designer had a crude, very early prototype of Photoshop. It was called an X-ACTO knife. Groovy, baby!
This cover was actually accomplished through a process called cut and paste. Like, literally...cut and PASTE.
The Chapell Heirs were known in some circles as The Decapitated Quartet.
[Thanks to Terrald Knorr, Jim Dettinger and Jim Summer]
Brother Al
Album producer:
"Brother Al, have you decided on a title for the album?"
"Brother Al, have you decided on a title for the album?"
Brother Al:
"Well, since everybody calls me Brother Al, why don't we just name it THIS IS BROTHER AL?"
"Well, since everybody calls me Brother Al, why don't we just name it THIS IS BROTHER AL?"